Last autumn, I loudly complained to my neurologist that I had once again somewhat forgotten how a normal Homo sapiens is supposed to walk.
Of course, after 16 years, MS had already chewed through quite a few of my nerves and weakened my neural connections. Some new immunomodulatory medication wasn’t really an option anymore, since I no longer have relapses. And if some nasty little bugger does decide to show up, my third round of Lemtrada is waiting for me, just in case.
Meanwhile, my brain, which apparently enjoys maintaining its reputation for being “lazy”, hasn’t exactly been putting much effort into preserving proper upright posture and the model-walk that should come with it.
Instead, it chose the path of least resistance. Its priority was to preserve as much energy as possible at any given moment, so it started sending uneven instructions to the body machine.
According to my brain, the balance problem had been solved.
Point B had been reached.
Who cares about the quality of the process?
Pelvis left, right, left, right.
Shuffle shuffle.
Bam.
I might even have licked the pavement along the way.
A Call for Some Physiotherapy Sessions
“I walk terribly and I’d like to go to the Soča front for a little while,” I told my neurologist.*
“I just don’t want to be hospitalised while all these airborne germs are floating around.”
She suggested eight physiotherapy sessions that I could get at the Neurological Clinic.
The idea sounded excellent!
I was expecting to start in spring, but they “called me up” earlier. Apparently, I was supposed to report for duty immediately after New Year.
My New Year’s resolutions about becoming more active were frighteningly quick to become reality.
Well, what can I say?
“Say YES to life and opportunities” is flashing rather cheesily in my world at the moment.
I left the very first session completely motivated.
I wanted to become aware of muscles again that I had gradually forgotten to use in my everyday life because of multiple sclerosis.
The first hour of intensive exercise focused on the parts responsible for balance.
Promising!
No, these are not your feet.
The key is to start with your core, the muscles responsible for keeping your torso stable.
Are they called core stabilisers?
Walking After Three Sessions
When you watch me walk, you can clearly see my pelvis swinging from side to side.
I walk really fast.
And I don’t lift my left leg properly either.
This is my unconscious walk.
My impatient walk.
My duck walk.
Walking After Eight Sessions
My walking is more conscious.
More controlled.
I pay more attention to keeping that stupid pelvis a little more still, and I try to keep my stomach pulled in.
(Fucking hell, that is hard.)
There is obviously still plenty of room for improvement!
But my step is more secure.
My step is safer.
I can even manage quite nicely without my stick, although I still get carried away sometimes.
Of course I do.
My brain is busy focusing on the battle being fought between my pelvis and the muscles in my lower abdomen.
Balance is really something …
There is still SO much room for improvement!
And, of course, there are other impairments to deal with: foot drop, a knee that likes to lock itself into my kneecap, and the ever-present good old …
FATIGUE.
“Set your pelvis, tighten your stomach” became my mantra.
Now I have to bring all this “studying” into my home environment.
I have to keep my brain on a short leash and trick it into helping me walk properly, normally, together with the rest of my body.
This has to become my new normal.
Actually, I need to remind my muscles what walking was like back in the days “before multiple sclerosis”.
Because muscles have a memory, too.
We just have to remind them how to access it again.
They’ll catch on quickly.
Alongside all of that, I need to work on strength.
Do my strength exercises correctly.
And eat protein.
A more stable and better-coordinated Darja, here I come!
The bottom line
I want you to know that physiotherapy is powerful and can improve movement, but it is only one of many tools available when dealing with the physical limitations caused by MS.
You can find videos of the way I walk on my Instagram ms.clumsywithstyle !